Gaucho Reviewed: Meat, Meat, MEAT

MEAT, meat, meat.

Gaucho. Blood. Flesh.

And red wine. Not poncey pink, or white.

Red. Visceral. Sinews. Muscle. 

There's nothing shy about the Gaucho experience. 

Even the building, a former Methodist meeting hall, is big-boned, with a lofty ceiling and organ pipes like rib-eyes stacked up on a butcher's counter. 

Usually we put the price of the dishes immediately after their descriptions on Confidential reviews. This time I've been saving them up to present as a package. Gaucho is very expensive. 

Confidential had popped in for lunch because on the way to review the new but uninspiring Lost Dene pub on Deansgate we'd lost the will to live.

Could we be bothered with sausages and mash and the Christmas office frenzy in mundane surroundings? Nope. So we'd slipped by the Lost Dene for some life affirmingly fleshly matters in the Argentinian festival of steak that is Gaucho.

We got exactly what we wanted in the shape of two juicy mains.

These came in the form of the 300g rump steak (below) and the 400g rib-eye (top of the page). You can go up to a 500g meat filler and more if you want here, or stick with a more modest 225g.  You can also get fillets and sirloin. 

Both cuts were simply exquisite. For example my rib-eye was marbled with fat, full-on flavoured and perfectly medium-rare as ordered. It was simply a joy. There is something magnificent, heroic almost, with setting about a steak. This one fulfilled everything you want from such a journey.

The sides of fries and salad failed to live up to the meat - how could they? The fries weren't quite as crisp as they could have been and the salad looked as though it were ashamed to show its face in a place named after macho Latino cowboys. 

The spiced sweet potato dish however was fabulous. Prepared as a puree, it was almost as lush as the meat. I spooned it up like a kid with a sweet tooth, faced with a bowl of custard.

There were some concerns throughout the meal.

We'd popped in for a quick lunch, one course, bottle of wine, 45 minutes sort of thing. We were there an hour and fifteen. It took the otherwise delightful staff several minutes to bring us a menu on a day with only about seven other tables occupied. Then it took ages to place the order.

The flying rumpSecondly we had the flying steak incident. My dining partner had insufficiently anchored her rump - so to speak - with her fork before applying the knife. The half-eaten steak took off like a cannonball and landed six feet away on the carpet. I've got to admit I've not laughed so much for ages. Nor probably have the customers and staff that witnessed it. 

The latter were gracious enough to offer a replacement free of charge. What Gaucho should do is look to their cutlery. Sharper steak knives would come in handy.

The final issue we had is more serious.

Usually we put the price of the dishes immediately after their descriptions on Confidential reviews. This time I've been saving them up to present as a package. Gaucho is very expensive. 

Dull knifeWe went in at lunch. I had £80 cash on me, no more, as I'd forgetfully left the plastic at home. My steak was £25.50, the rump was almost £18 - and these were medium cuts. The sweet potato side was another £4. The delicious bread, oil and butter was thankfully free.

The wine, a Don David Cabernet Sauvignon, came in at £32.50. Hardly any of the red wines were less than £30. The quality is undeniable - this was complex, full, passionate, in otherwords, unbelievably effing good - but it was just about the cheapest red I could find. These Argentinian wines make you very happy about the New World product but the price points are as high as the altitude at which the grapes are grown.

The result was that for two main courses only and wine, at lunch, my £80 was all eaten up. I'm not sure Gaucho does itself any favours by making people have to to save up for lunch.

Of course we could have gone for the limited range of fish and veggie dishes but that would be like going to Blackpool and not seeing the sea. 

Gaucho is all about the steaks. And if you get chance you should sample their delights and the magnificent building which hosts them. But service needs to speed up, a choice of sides should come with the mains as should the sauces, and there should be some wines at lower price points.

Maybe the flying rumps should calm down a little as well. 

You can follow Jonathan Schofield on Twitter here @JonathSchofield

ALL SCORED CONFIDENTIAL REVIEWS ARE IMPARTIAL. £1000 to the reader who can prove otherwise, and dismissal for the staff member who wrote a review scored out of twenty on a freebie from the restaurant.

Gaucho
2A St. Marys Street  Manchester M3 2LB
0161 833 4333      

Rating: 13.5/20
Food: 7.5/10
Service: 3/5 
Ambience: 3/5