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Home > Food & Drink > Coffee Shops
Victoria Station Buffet Bar at 100: a review
Jonathan Schofield finds a company called Pumpkins that hates every single one of us
Date Published: 10/03/2009
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I had reason to be in Victoria Station the other day, which is no bad thing unless you have to use the rail service, or buy food and drink.
![]() For some reason all the local trains to Rochdale, Oldham and Bolton, are powered by a complex but inefficient arrangement of Blu-Tac, sellotape and rubber bands. The carriages themselves are built of chipboard and shopping trolley chrome, with no pretence at comfort. They've also been given a rubbed-in smell of vomit mingled with broken toilets and diesel. You expect this with the trains, they were designed to be terrible, a joke at the travelling public’s expense. But much of Victoria Station wasn’t cheap by design. This is the present building’s centenary; it was created by the Lancashire and Yorkshire Railway in 1909 to impress customers, to say, why not travel with us? The company thought it only polite to take our money by making passengers feel good about travelling. You can see this philosophy built into the restaurant/ buffet bar - from the neck up at least. To those of you who haven’t looked inside, sighed, shuddered and left, there’s a dome with a cupola, swags of fruit-laden garlands, and lots of lovely period detailing. There’s aqua-marine mosaic with words spelt out in gold-leaf.
Beneath head height there’s such a lack of care shown over food, drink, fixtures and fittings that it’s funny - in the hysterical screaming way of a person at the end of their tether. The buffet bar is run by a company called Pumpkins. There are two parts to Pumpkins, Victoria Station.
There’s the bar part which is depressing but lifted by that hundred-year-old dome. Then in the adjacent space there’s the Death Cafe – although that may not be the official name. This is where aspirations bite the dust and the futility of our three score years and ten journey smacks against the buffers of pointlessness, as we shunt our way through coffee roasted with criminal intent. The place is rotten, decomposed even. On my recent visit, the only hot snack that wasn’t a toastie, manufactured in Ross-on-Wye or somewhere, was a Cornish pasty. This was presented on a kid’s brightly coloured plate with a plastic knife and fork which wouldn't have scratched a meringue never mind a pasty with a crust made of tortoise shell and demanding diamond edge tooling. Snapped open with the fingers, the filling was hot and brownish which placed alongside a dollop of packet brown sauce looked very beautiful - as you can see on the picture. Yeah right.
Sat there in a bar with no ale (none, not even keg), surrounded by promotions for buckets of Carling, and pink champagne, I worked out something. It was that the senior management at Pumpkins hate us. I mean hate us, personally, each and every one of us. They think we’re snivelling creeps only good for a bit of cheap profit making. |
They must hate us otherwise they’d resign from the shame. You take a potentially beautiful space and kill it dead, just because you don’t have the flexibility of mind to change your approach whether the venue’s a plastic booth on Platform 14 or a 1909 gem such as the one here. It gets more bizarre. Prominently displayed by the counter is a sign from Pumpkins’ holding company SSP. This reads: ‘SSP – creating a better experience. We are unable to provide hot water for heating baby food or baby bottles.’ See they hate us.
Five minutes web research reveals that SSP stands for ‘Shameless Self Promotion’ or 'Select Service Partner'. Either way it doesn't add up. I rest my case m’lud. SSP also have in their ‘portfolio’ Burger King, Upper Crust, Caffè Ritazza and Whistlestop. They also, surprisingly, have the exclusive rights to M&S Simply Food. ‘This isn’t any old pile of crap, this is.....’ Of course Victoria Station has been a disaster like this for years. But it’s not as if it need be. There are good practice precedents in Greater Manchester. Why doesn’t Network Rail get Stalybridge Buffet Bar in to run the place (click here) or even Marble Brewery? Can you imagine how this place would zing with the Marble Arch’s Ken Calder and Marc Lara in charge? Network Rail would also get extra revenue from the extra custom.
The tourist agencies should put pressure on Network Rail to change things. Tens of thousands of people pass Victoria Station buffet bar every year, many on their way to the soulless shell of the MEN Arena and its dire and ludicrously expensive food and drink. Many of these people are guests to the city from points far distant and the present arrangement makes us look bad. Compare and contrast with Piccadilly if you will. There are plans to improve Victoria Station. Or there were. But with the economic tide as low as that on Southport beach it might be a while before changes happen - and there’s no guarantee that any other buffet arrangement would be any better. Somebody give those Stalybridge Buffet or Marble Arch people a call would they, and let’s get rid of those cynical dolts at Pumpkins.
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![]() Venues are rated against the best examples of their kind: fine dining against the best fine dining, cafes against the best cafes. Following on from this the scores represent: 1-5 saw your leg off and eat it, 6-9 get a DVD, 10-11 if you must, 12-13 if you’re passing,14-15 worth a trip,16-17 very good, 17-18 exceptional, 19 pure quality, 20 perfect. More than 20: Gordo gets carried away
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Editorial says..“ Yes. It was too good so they killed it.”
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Cheeseman says..“ You're right they really hate us. I had a tomato and cheese sandwich on the way to the Killers last night and it was I swear a month old. Disgusting”
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bumpkin says..“ nasty, nasty place”
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View from the hills says..“ The car-park at New Mills Newtown station has recently been enhanced by a bloke in a shed selling hotdogs. Perhaps he should expand?”
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Mossley Guy says..“ Bang on article - and you're right about the bar - should be run along the lines of Stalybridge buffet bar and then Manchester would have a real asset!”
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Harry says..“ Hilarious. Let's get that ****ing ****e company out of there and get the Marble in.”
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Gordo says..“ Blimey, does lavinia want to give you one Jonno?”
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Anonymous says..“ Has anyone ever tried to buy a cup of coffee at one of these places and--shock--leave the receipt? Christ.”
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Bee says..“ Umm the Pumpkin at Stockport train station is less shocking and the staff are really lovely.”
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Chod [UK] says..“ I love the dome and the bright red gloss ceiling. But I do want to slit my wrists when I'm in there. It could be so much better.”
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Sarah Kenny says..“ An absolute waste. The other guy on here is right. Start a campaign. This is a useless place in a beautiful place. Can we not petition Pumpkins? ”
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Editorial says..“ Dr Chi, we were about our technicals digging in the backoffice and docked your comment. Please post again. Maybe this is what happened with Bored in Leeds. Apologies”
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Harold says..“ Back to the Cafe. A good operator would do more than enough business to justify any conversion. Let's change this.”
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Kevin Gordan says..“ A pint of ale and a good quality Sauvignon Blanc for my lady would be welcome before an MEN arena gig definitely. ”
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Bored and moaning says..“ One more thing Al sorry i didn't pick up on it earlier but the title of this article settles my argument ;-)”
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Bernie says..“ Oh did anyone know that the plan they are getting pushed through the Council this year is to remove all the historic trainshed roofs?”
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Rebecca Who says..“ I went in once for as long as I could politly order something, anything to takeaway... it scared me. ”
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Wayne says..“ What is shocking is that Pumpkins area managers must as the article says visit this place and think is ok. They mustn't care much for their job.”
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Sharon says..“ Is anybody listening to all these rants or do the bosses of this station or whoever owns really hate us? Or think they're above all this and beyond what we have to say?”
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Anonymous says..“ Dear Editor, is this the story for this week, 19-Mar-09?”
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Editorial says..“ Lou, you've popped on to the wrong article. Go to the Food and Drink in the contents in the left column on this page an you'll see the update story there. Thanks”
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