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Come Dine With Me exposed

Gordo, the 'cuddly Jeremy Clarkson' on Friday’s Manchester show

Written by . Published on November 17th 2010.


Come Dine With Me exposed

It started with a phone call into Confidential’s’ office one Wednesday afternoon.

Would we like to put a call out to our readers as the production company behind Come Dine With Me (CDWM) was looking for contestants (simpletons) to be flayed alive. As the best thing since sliced bread in food and drink reporting in Manchester it was obvious why they wanted our help.

Anyway Confidential sales supremo Chris Grimes took the call and quickly saw a sales opportunity, whilst at the same time thinking of the sweet humiliation he could heap on me, the Publisher of Confidential, and in another life, Gordo.

The four of us had got used to each other and we were getting along really well. Ruth hated this. She kept suggesting that we start a topic that was aimed at me being lecherous, Pascha saying something daft, Jilly winding me up or Jon hating the critic. It backfired.

“Great news boss,” says the shifty one, “I’ve got you a banging bit of PR, it will blast the Confidential name across the UK and the world”.

Yes, the opportunity for a sound thrashing from Dave Lamb, the piss-taking voice-over on CDWM was presenting itself on a plate.

Of course the lure of big telly is one of those that even media savvy professionals knowingly get snagged by. An ageing simpleton like me stands no chance.

“Oh go on then…”

The process up until the filming was straightforward; two telephone interviews, the second after I had sent pictures of my apartment through, then an interview on camera, again in the apartment and finally a phone call to give me the good news that I was on.“Oh yes, and one of your guests will be a vegetarian”.

Great.

Filming started on a Sunday afternoon in Stock, where the director, Ruth, did a two and a half hour on-camera interview with me. Question after leading question was asked and it was becoming apparent that she was desperate to get something that she could feed to Dave Lamb. About an hour and a half in, and three glasses of Montepulciano later, I was for the twentieth time answering a question about why I thought I was qualified to be a food and drink critic.

I saw a particularly huge smile come on her face half way through my explaining my credentials. I knew I had made a mistake.

On film, the hours turned into two five second sound bites.

“When it comes to food and when it comes to booze,” says the lamb well on its way to slaughter by the Lamb, “there aren’t many people who know as much as I do…”

Cue voiceover.

“Or who is as smug as you…”

Twat.

That’s aimed at both Dave and myself.

The following day, the Monday, it was my turn to cook, being first up. The interview the day before gave me a heads up from what I was going to endure from Ruth; her job is to wind people up. Clearly, she wanted to be seeing plenty of vegetarian abuse as I am on record as being a hater. To this end she'd found me a vegetarian to get my teeth into.

People arrive at your place early; from five, and that five-o’clock rendezvous arrives like an express train running on time. The previous six hours were an endurance cooking test.

“Go on Mark, have a drink.”

“Sorry, lights gone, can you make the mayo again?”

“Oops, the Town Hall clock is about to go off, can everyone freeze? “

I could happily have gutted the film crew with my boning knife.

When the guests arrived, they turned out to be an eclectic bunch. When I met the veggie weirdo, Pascha, wearing an outfit modelled from a 1940s’ lady travelling from Paddington Station, I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry.

“Well, I love Russia; I model everything I do from my Russian studies. I went to uni and it was there I became a vegetarian, because I don’t like killing animals. I love cake. That’s about all I eat.

Oh yes, I’m a Stalinist.”

“But Pascha, Stalin murdered sixty million people…”

“Yes, I suppose he got a bad rep.”

At this stage I realised that Pascha was deliciously away with the fairies and a lovely character. Ruth hated this, the idea of me liking Pascha. Indeed, I realised that Pascha was one of those special people you meet from time to time who was brilliant but daft simultaneously. I decided that I wanted to protect her as much as possible.

Jilly looked like another character drafted in to get me at it. In her own words, she is a ‘MILF’ (‘scuse the French, that’s internet porn language for ‘mother I’d like to fuck’). She was dressed to bait me with an outstanding figure, accentuated by a corset and skin tight jeans from Vivienne Westwood.

Jilly again turned out to be a darling and very knowledgeable on the subject of food and booze. She wasn’t worried about giving an opinion. When she gave it, the opinion was well founded.

I wish you would get the fuck out of my shop

Jon Patillo was the other bloke, a pub landlord who spent the first evening bristling underneath the weight of an oak tree on his shoulder.

I thought they should know what I did. I introduced myself as a food critic; the guests went a little pale. Questions were being asked of me about subject matters that had been talked over during my initial Stock interview; clearly Ruth had been feeding wind-up questions to my other contestants. One about the age difference with my girlfriends was dropped in deftly by Jilly.

On that first evening, I was confident that I had been a good host.

Between eleven and a quarter past twelve I had a good chat with Jon, as the girls were interviewed.

During the evening he had refused Pol Roger, Condrieu and a couple of good burgundies. Oh and a half bottle of Rieussec, Guinness and John Smiths bitter during the evening. He did drink a couple of cans of warm Fosters. I gave up. Finally, at eleven I’d asked him what his tipple was.

“Brandy.”

“Right, here’s a bottle. The rules of the house are I pour yours first, then you help yourself to whatever else you want.”

He seemed to relax and we had that chat. At the same time I watched him, slack-jawed, as he drank the full bottle of Remy in one hour and fifteen minutes. I couldn’t believe my eyes.

Let me tell you something. This process is nothing like you see on the TV. I couldn’t serve the pudding until a quarter to one in the morning, the guests finally left at half past three and the film crew at four.

The next day was at Pascha’s in Hulme. The food was shocking. Pascha was hilarious. At the end of the evening, I found myself chatting with Pascha along with a member of the film crew.

“So Pascha, did you get to Russia during your studies?” I asked.

“No, didn’t, ‘cos of the breakdown.”

“Do you mean when the Wall came down?”

“No, no, it were me nervous breakdown,” she said in her broad Yorkshire accent. “They didn’t get the medication right for five years.”

“I’ve got news for you love,” I was thinking, “they still haven’t.”

CDWM Crew in standard issue 'Telly' wear. Note pants

We left that party at half past two. The third was held at Jon’s pub, which I was delighted by, a JW Lees establishment in Timperley called The Moss Trooper. I stuck to bitter. Unfortunately lots and lots of it.

Ruth was doing her usually mixing, stopping and started the conversation, dropping in conversation ideas that were designed to get the team having a row. She did a good job of it. She had spotted that Jon had been feeling left out.

I was surprised to hear that he'd felt left out on the first night at my place as well; I had asked my pal Al to sing, he brought a couple of long-stemmed roses for the girls, Jon had the needle that he wasn’t given one.

That was a bit bizarre.

Apparently he was also upset that he was given greens with his main. He didn’t like greens and was upset that I hadn’t done anything else. He didn’t mention the dauphinoise; besides, what else should I have had ready, some fucking carrots?Ruth (I think her surname was Less) did a good job of winding everyone up at that party, I of course was doing what everyone told me not to do. Getting pissed.

Jon’s food, mind you, was pretty good, apart from the dessert, something you would see being made in much smaller portions on a CBBC cookery show. Feeling Ruth’s inspired, ‘let's get the food critic’ atmosphere I just thought bugger it, where’s the next pint. That was my favourite night. Again though, another marathon of a three point battle between food, personalities and Ruth Less trying to wind everyone up. Three thirty.

The final day was at Jilly’s in Hale. This night was funny. The four of us had got used to each other and we were getting along really well. Ruth hated this. She kept suggesting that we start a topic that was aimed at me being lecherous, Pascha saying something daft, Jilly winding me up or Jon hating the critic. It backfired.

Ruth asked me what I thought about the girl’s outfits, clearly hoping that I was going to be rude. I wasn’t, deflecting another of Ruth’s attempt at car crash telly.

After one ridiculous row-making attempt, I decided to step in and told Ruth that it was time to stop her bear baiting. From that point on we had a proper party in Jilly’s garden, along with her great hubby who had been banished to the local all night.

We’re good friends now and I am taking the three of them out shortly on a restaurant write-up session.

The two things that surprised me about the show was just how gruelling it was, and that it had bugger all to with cooking really. It’s all about how well chosen they are with the guests; a good row makes for great telly.

In retrospect, I thoroughly enjoyed it: the excuse I made to myself was that it would be good for Confidential, along with being a great life experience as well. There is no point in being frightened of what it brings along. I do however feel a bit uncomfortable for people with shoulders less broad than mine who go on shows like this; they have to be prepared to deal with their mistakes, drunken or sober, for a long time to come.

I felt happy when, at the end of the last evening, one of the crew looked at Ruth.“They’ve been very naughty tonight, haven’t they?”

By the way if anyone has any questions, I am quite happy to reply to them in the rant boxes below.

Follow Gordo on twitter GordoManchester

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60 comments so far, continue the conversation, write a comment.

BatmanNovember 15th 2010.

Is it true that CDWM contestants are given a £500 budget from the makers to stock up on grub and booze?

FoodographicNovember 15th 2010.

Brilliant. Great to hear what goes on behind the scenes. However, I've got to say, you played it far too safe with your main & dessert.
You are a brave man Gordo, prepared to do the do - and at least Jilly gave you a good stifado.

Weby72November 15th 2010.

Watching it, I thought you came across as an absolute tosser.

Glad to read your 'behind the scenes' write-up, cos that explains a lot. And I now think you're less of a tosser - which I'm sure you'll be oh so glad to learn.

Youwererobbed!November 15th 2010.

You should have won Gordo :-) you only lost because Jon didn't play by the spirit of the TV show and gave you a ridiculously low score, thats how you win at "come dine with me" give the main competition a low score and then its almost impossible for them to win!

NortherngeezerNovember 15th 2010.

Its all about what makes good telly and reading your account big fella, it was obvious you were the one who was gonna be set up as the fall guy, with the poor deprived working class pub landlord as the aggreived winner who was well pleased cos he'd beat the 'expert'.
I thought your menu was ok, its always difficult to 2nd guess what everyone is comfy with but i think you nailed it. Mr pub landlords critiscm of being served greens was probably exploited by the loverlee producer, she found the scab on his knee and picked it till it bled.
All in all, i found the prog entertaining and amusing and i thought you came out of it not too badly, if looking slightly like someone who was a little too much up there own arse.
Big up for doing it tho.

Hero
GordoNovember 15th 2010.

@ Batman: You get £120 or thereabouts for the food.

LozzyNovember 15th 2010.

If you avoided so much of the baiting, as you say you did, then why did you come across as lecherous and up your own backside!?
Surprised in your line of work you didnt realise how manipulated these shows are. And did it actually mention Confidential?

WhitesidesOnsideNovember 15th 2010.

Don't blame Dave Lamb/the producer/anyone else for the smug, cringeworthy self publicising bs that was spouted from your mouth throughout 60 incredibly toe curling minutes. And what on earth was all the 'ehhh' at the end of every sentence??!!

Matthew FNovember 15th 2010.

Should the title of this piece not be 'Gordo exposed' for coming across as an absolute tool?

DibigoNovember 15th 2010.

I didn't see this programme but the comments on here re: the way Gordo came across don't suprise me after visiting this website for a while. What a shame the 'expert' eater didn't win.

EusabioisaykiddoNovember 15th 2010.

Observations from the program:-

a) I thought to be described as a Milf you had to be good looking. Obviously not.

b) Gordo appears to like the sound of his own voice a little too much, couldn't mention enough about how much of an expert he was on all topics re Food & Wine. Oh and the bit about having girlfriends ranging from 20 odd to 63 was so Alan Partridge i had to rewind to make sure he actually said those words - all very good except Alan Partridge is a parody and is supposed to sound like a bell end.......

3) The right contestant won.

AnonymousNovember 15th 2010.

I think Gordo may have been a bit green here. What publicity did you think Manchester Confidential would receive out of this? And surely you must have realised that every so-called 'reality' TV show will edit out the boring nice bits and show people in the worst possible light - that's what now passes for entertainment

Mark MottramNovember 15th 2010.

Hardly an exposé Matthew F.

AnonymousNovember 15th 2010.

So, what's the overall verdict then? Good shout for ManCon/Gordo, or has it back-fired?

AnonymousNovember 15th 2010.

Perhaps for this ezine or whatever the correct name is, to go further it needs the publisher to take a backward step. Otherwise you could be forgiven for thinking it was merely a vehicle to carry an ego.

Jane BaxterNovember 15th 2010.

I thought it was one of the most entertaining episodes of Come Dine with Me. Three eccentric interesting people and that bloke Jon who was obviously given a sense of humour bypass before the first episode and issued with a big chip for his shoulder.
Gordo you so deserved to win. Your food looked so much better than his and I agree he didn't vote fairly - the only criticism he could find was he was given greens!

Angelina JolieNovember 15th 2010.

I thought Gordo/Mark Garner was dead funny. Anyone who has read him for a while gets him, as a PR person what he has built in Confidential is something we all want to get our clients into, when he is doing straight business he is no old fool and as Gordo, well he is just an mad womanising un - pc idiot who we all actually love. Get a grip you lot, especially the rude arse who talks about the lady described as a MILF. I bet you don't look like the jeans model, you silly little boy. Gordo's comments about the strange 'Russian' ladies dress was that of a real gent, i am sure the producer was trying to get him to be rude.

NortherngeezerNovember 15th 2010.

The episode was entertaining cos Mancon readers had an interest in it.
Theres a bloke i work with was in another episode a couple of years ago and it was hilarious, again, cos i had an interest.
Lets not get hung up on who won or who shouldnt/should have won and remember, its an entertainment show, not a cookery contest, if it was about culinary skills, the mad russian would never have got in.

jillyNovember 16th 2010.

Well from the MILF's words herself, it was a thoroughly challenging and fun experience! Of course it's not all about the food...Gordo's account of the week is an excellent reflection of what really went on...and get a grip you seriously dull pondlife! (not all of you, obviously),life's about having fun and we certainly had it, didn't we, Gordo??!!

Matthew FNovember 16th 2010.

Quelle surprise - the Mancon sycophants (Angelina Jolie - Arf!)jump on the defensive at the slightest critisism of the 'hilarious/wonderful/talented' Gordo. I've been a regular reader of Mancon for years luv and have actually really enjoyed many of 'Gordos' reviews - they're pretty much the only reason i even bother with the site following umpteen disapointments/disaters with their offers. However, in my opinion (and everybody else that i have spoken to re the program) - he came across as an absolute tool, editors license or not - if the guys prepared to go on the show then he has to be prepared to take any criticism if warranted - which in my opinon it most certainly is. And no - she wasn't a MILF in any way what so ever other than age.

Hero
GordoNovember 16th 2010.

I'm with you Jilly :-)

Simon BowersNovember 16th 2010.

Gordo, we loved it, have to agree one of the funniest and most entertaining episodes we have seen in a long time. "What do you eat if you don't eat veg" "CAKE!" will go down as folklore in our office for many months!

janineNovember 16th 2010.

Gordo, I thought you came across very true to character, with all your foibles we know and love. The programme was a great laugh and anyone who takes it more seriously should get a quick reality check. My family - who don't know you at all - thought it was great entertainment. Well done to all the gang.

ACNovember 16th 2010.

I'm loosely acquainted with two people that have been on Come Dine. One of them, who is an arrogant prick, came across as an arrogant prick. Now whenever the subject of CDWM is raised he has a furious rant about how manipulative the direction and editing is. The other chap is eccentric and likeable and that is exactly how he came across. I'm a big fan of the programme and anyone watching can tell the contestants are fed conversation topics and that there's a serious amount of off camera stirring but I don't think they can actually make people appear completely contrary to what they are. Plenty of people come across as charming, witty and likeable and others come across like an egocentric smug bastard.

Darren - Elite Fitness TrainingNovember 16th 2010.

Gordo, what a fun episode of CDWM... simply honest fun.
Well done.
PS cleaver even if un-intentional salt over food trick - Ill have to practice that one when I go over to my sisters!

AnonymousNovember 16th 2010.

Guted you were not on the same show as me!!!Well it is indeed a life experience but quite a surreal one....Happy to see that people realize that it is uber manipulated and not spontaneous....

KieranNovember 16th 2010.

One of the best and most unexpected comedy lines came from the mad veggie.

(Gordo about to tuck into some pork)

'Do you not feel like a cannibal eating that.... you know, with you being a chauvinist pig?'.

Was that set up or was she sharper than she looked / sounded / acted?

InfoNovember 16th 2010.

Bit bad taste Gordo to divulge someones private medical history and comment upon it openly, however, condescendingly sweet you are about them earlier..

Tricky WooNovember 16th 2010.

I thought it was a good show. very entertaining. Unlike this mean spirited thread.

The one thing I can say from this is thank god I don't have to live in the same city as you churlish, nasty, miserable bastards.

RowWritesNovember 16th 2010.

Ha, superb :)

My mum did the Beeb's Instant Restaurant recently - every five mins the camerawoman was bellowing "Do you think you've taken on too much? Do you think you've taken on too much?" and then finally whisked my mum away to "interview" her for two hours without prior notice, just to ensure that the next time she asked her, mum did concede that she was getting worried as to whether she'd taken on too much. Who says these things are unscripted?

Oh, and not one single second of that two-hour interview made the programme. I doubt the camera was even running.

Jane MNovember 16th 2010.

I totally agree with 'You Were Robbed'. If that div Jon hadn't given you a crap mark (MAJOR chip on the shoulder - you should have given him a bit of egg to go with it) you would have won. That main look delish. He made himself look like a tw@t with that final comment too, whereas you were a gracious in defeat. Good on you I say.

Hero
GordoNovember 16th 2010.

@Matthew... Quelle Surprise, I thought I was great me! I love you Matthew. I love you all! As it happens, if you read the story carefully, i just report it as it was. I know what these guys are doing, my shoulders are broad enough. What matters to me is that the likes of you and 'Angelina Jolie' can have a go freely at me, good or bad, 'cos that makes me happy. Because I am proud of what I, and my team, have created from fresh air six years ago. You are both welcome to your opinions on Confidential, good or bad!

AnonymousNovember 16th 2010.

I don't think it was good for publicity for Mancon (unless there's truth in the saying that any publicity is good publicity).
I agree that the right person won. And yes - Gordo does seem like a bit of a twerp.

John HarrisNovember 16th 2010.

I don't think Gordo's a twerp, but he is just about perfect telly-piss-taking material. People who are larger than life make big easy targets.

AntoRumboNovember 16th 2010.

It's clear that the show's format prompts and filters only the kind of behaviour that they perceive to be entertaining. Admittedly, there has to be something to exploit in the first place. Gordo, you seem like a very entertaining and pleasant bloke, albeit one who's probably evolved into a product of his vocation along with the accompanying ego. That said, power to you! You'd never catch me on a show like that... having my every (most probably quite drunken) word and action digitally recorded for creative mnaufacturing, I simply wouldn't have the balls. So, thanks for the entertainment. Can I ask though, have you found the experience brought you down to earth a little?

Professor ChucklebuttyNovember 16th 2010.

What am I doing over here?
By Jove, what a bunch of miserable gits you all are here in the Manchester rants. Come over to the Liverpool rants for some fun instead. We are full of whimsy and wit, no Missus that's not cokney rhyming slang.

I thought Gordo was wonderful. I can't wait for Hanna-Barbera to do the cartoon version. What do you mean that was it? But if ITV are looking for a new Selwyn Froggat, well look no further. Magic Our Morris! I can see Gordo dolls in the shops for Christmas. Don't put them next to the Barbie dolls though...or Peppa Pig for that matter - one he'd fry and the other he'd....fun, that's all it was, and now I know roughly where he lives, I'm going round to nick his telly. A breath of fresh hair - it was that Stuart Hall spray on stuff wasn't it? I bet he squirted it in the pub landlord's dinner round at Wilf's.

Give him a series. He's got nicer tit-bits than Nigella Lawson.

By the way if you are thinking of having fried Barbie, it sticks to the pan so be careful.

ClarkeyNovember 16th 2010.

I thought Gordo was great and would have him at my dinner party anytime.The show had a good mix of people, and if you can`t have a bit of fun then it`s time to expire! Dave Lamb is fun to listen to and makes CDWM but from the start you can tell who the target is going to be.

dpNovember 16th 2010.

Great show,
great food,
you was robbed mark !!!!!
I was loving the condrieu

John HarrisNovember 16th 2010.

Gordo

Even though I haven't seen the show and so don't know what you cooked, I'm sure it was wonderful.

How about resurrecting your occasional series of Mancon food evenings at the Salford boozer whose name I forget (or some other venue) and cooking the same meal for us?

RedSkyAtNightNovember 16th 2010.

Is it actually necessary to relate the comment that a contestant made - off-camera - about her nervous breakdown? She said that in a private conversation between you and a crew member.

Reiterating it here strikes me as utterly unnecessary and an invasion of privacy for a cheap laugh. Eccentricity is funny, yes. A nervous breakdown? Not so much.

jon pattulloNovember 16th 2010.

I am loving reading this like it's a soap opera.....Myself, Gordo, Gilly and Pash had a real good laugh but where edited to generate such comments and opinions as seen above. Only we know what really went on as we were there the rest we will leave to people's imagination and the magic of television. It has completed its task...it has people ranting, talking, disagreeing and second guessing what we are truly like as people ...Job Done !!!! here endeth the lesson...Jon. x p.s. any of the above ranters brave enough to make themselves look like tits on tele???? we were and we loved it and found top friendship out of it...

Hero
GordoNovember 16th 2010.

Red Sky, the reason why Pasha is such a great personality is that she doesn't give a flying f*cknabout us all talking about our conversations and she wears her weirdness on a very large, flashing badge on her arm. Less of the PC methinks will do us all a power of good.

John, good idea and will do...

Mark Garner, PublisherNovember 16th 2010.

@ antorumbo, humbled? Not at all. The Gordo persona has helped me build a magazine on it's way to 400,000 readers and £100,000 per month, whilst being the only media in the North West actually taking on new, brilliant ( even more than me ;-) ) writers. Let's not forget that this character is my Les Patterson and most of what Gordo Says and does is tongue in cheek, so when I get the PC brigade on my back I just smile. The site stats are up 40% whilst @gordomanchester Twitter has taken on over a hundred new followers. So, no, it hasn't brought me down to Earth; it's just shows me that there are a lot of people who are are tired of Guardian - esq terribly worthy writing and welcome some piss taking, allied with authoritative writing on our subjects. My family and friends are important to me, knee-jerkers are not on my radar.

FoodographicNovember 17th 2010.

Amen to that Mark Garner, Publisher.

RayNovember 17th 2010.

I watched it last night. Great fun! I loved Pasha's accent - cracked me up every time with its lilting singsong character. Long live regional accents. The programme was entertaining - and that's what it is; entertainment. Gordo - what was the Condrieu? A straight Guigal or something more exotic like a Gaillard or Cuilleron? And just to keep balance, was that beer a JW Lees ale I saw?

Craig SutheranNovember 17th 2010.

I agree gordo, light hearted piss taking gets most of us through the day so more of the same please!

NortherngeezerNovember 17th 2010.

Jon - CDWM get literally thousands of applications, but obviously not all can take part.
I for one am, and have, made myself look a right tit on many occasion, you've only got read my previous rants on 'ere to know that ;-)

DibigoNovember 17th 2010.

Prof Chucklebutty... only scousers think scousers are funny. No one else likes you.

Professor ChucklebuttyNovember 17th 2010.

Dibigob You are absolutely right. I can't think of any funny Scousers, but I can think of many funny people from Liverpool and quite a few from Manchester too. Because depsite what you may think, most of us love the Mancs and your City.

As for me, I only have to step out from behind the screens and the nurses burst out laughing. You may remember I once had a small part in Casualty. Pop down there and ask them to take the lemon out of your arse.

Tricky WooNovember 18th 2010.

Ha, ha ha. Prof, I think you might have to start drawing little explanatory pictures for "Dibigo".

RuthNovember 18th 2010.

Gordo, that lamb looked amazing, and they did a good job of the french trim, where did you buy it?

Simone13024November 19th 2010.

I watched this last night and I don't think he was that bad. Made some cringeworthy comments but that other guy, and I bet he's a City fan, was brimming with tension. He marked down others so his own menu would win. How classy. He marked Gordo one point above the crazy Russian, such desperation laid bare on the telly is a bit off putting. Anyway, on the nore of the Russian, why was everyone so rude about her service? She was making it authentic. In some of the restaurants I've been to in Russia, you're lucky if your food actually comes at all.

ELAINE13082November 21st 2010.

I agree with John. We have had a couple of cracking nights at The New Oxford. Andrea and I want to try the salad! John was very bitter. I personally thought you were great! Well done Gordo and you were robbed!!

J E SibberingNovember 23rd 2010.

Only just got round to watching this. You were definitely robbed, by John scoring everyone low to ensure he won.

I understand that they edit it to make it entertaining, but there were a few things you said which were so M.C.Piggish they were off the scale:

"She's wrong obviously; but there you go, she's a female."

"I'm sorry, no, no. You're blond, you've got great, huge... fabulous breasts, therefore you haven't got an opinion."

Does this pass as humour in Gordo's world? And what's with the weird "Ey?" catch phrase?

PS My favourite part was when you asked if you could smell Jilly's boots, plus Pascha throwing the food at you all.

Come Die With MeNovember 23rd 2010.

Gordo - Think there must have been kipper on the menu, 'cos you got stitched up like one. Interesting to hear the behind the scenes bits, because without that you might, mistakenly of course, have come to the conclusion that you were a self-obsessed, male chauvinvist, rubber fetishwear smelling, wino. Which of course, you aren't!! ;-) Good TV!! Thanks...

Valerie CastanDecember 9th 2010.

Enjoyed it all; 1) the episodes of CDWM, 2) the expose and 3) the comments!
Good on you Gordo!

Mark Garner, PublisherDecember 10th 2010.

Reads are up 28% on the site, excellent. I love this business.

AnonymousApril 26th 2012.

Sexist pig.

StevenMarch 21st 2013.

90% of the vegetarians I know don't go on about it to non-veggies as they do it for themselves and no one else. I once again had to listen to a nihalistic pompus twat doing the very thing to vegetarians they he hates about them. Why would a meat eater care about what someone else is doing for f*cks sake, if everyone cared about animals and the wider world generally as vegetarians tend to then wouldn't the world be a much better place. I am a meat eater but I say LEAVE THESE DECENT CARING PEOPLE ALONE! It must be very hard to be had a go at continuously and that's without having to see people abuse the very creatures you have sworn to protect. Mark you are an awful example of humanity at its worst!

GordoApril 8th 2013.

Thank you Steven. You didn't mention my shocking Halitosis though? And I smell.

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