The New Manchester Dictionary: Metrolink

Altrincham/Bury Black Hole
A phenomenon used to explain a situation where up to five trams pass on the other track but none arrive at your station. Usage: “Is there a bloody black hole in Bury, swallowing all the trams up?”

Big Bang
The combustible situation on Metrolink stations when several passengers explode in frustration simultaneously due to late trams and no announcements.

Broadway (and Harbour City)
An act of design whereby tram stations are placed too far away from places people want to visit, such as The Lowry and Imperial War Museum North. Usage: "You could get the Met to Broadway for the Lowry, but then you'd get soaked if it's raining. I'd drive if I were you."

Driver-glaucoma
The clouded sight of a tram driver who doesn't wait for passengers from an approaching tram to board before setting off. Through passengers then have to wait 'up to 12 minutes' (see below) for another tram to arrive.

Eccles line syndrome
A condition whereby passengers are so used to the non-running or delayed running of services on the Eccles line that they now believe cancellations or lateness is the norm.

Eccles line syndrome (part II)
A belief held by many that since it's only the line to Eccles, a humble town with low commuter traffic, Metrolink can't really be bothered with it and wish it would go away.

Football-shakes
The sensation felt when Manchester United fans on the way to the match, who've all had too much to drink, are thumping the walls and sides of the vehicle making animal sounds.

Met-blanked
When passengers standing at a Metrolink platform receive no announcements to tell them what is happening. Usage: “I'm being Met-blanked at St Peter's Square so I've no idea what time I'll be home.”

Met-dread
The sinking feeling caused by arriving at a tram station to see a crowd of people who have obviously been waiting for some time.

Met-joy
A rare phenomenon which occurs when the ticket machine works, the tram arrives on time, and you get a seat, all on the same journey. Met-joy can lead to a spontaneous platform Met-party when on three concurrent days there are no delays or problems on the trams at all.

Met-love
An unintended sexual act occasioned by intimate clothed contact on a packed commuter tram.

Metroskint
Poverty arising from the regular purchase of peak time tram tickets. Usage: “Can you lend me a fiver to get the tram to work? I'm Metroskint.”

Slippery-coin
A common Metrolink ticket machine anomaly, unique to the system, where apparently normal UK currency is too 'slippery' to be of use in the ticket machine.

Surfing the Met
Trying to stay on your feet when overcrowding means you're stuck in the middle of the carriage with no access to a hand-loop or rail.

Tram-grounded
To be prevented from getting to work (or place of leisure) due to unannounced failure of tram vehicle to arrive. Usage: “Cancel that morning meeting – I'm tram-grounded at Bowker Vale.”

Up to 12 minutes
A notional length of time invented by Metrolink to explain any delays. In reality the delays can be any length of time.

We apologise
A phrase which through over-use on the Metrolink system has become meaningless.