Mr Jorgensen's Remarkable Requests

IT HAS COME to the attention of Sleuth, our resident jester, that a established local gentleman is doing remarkable work in pursuit of the absurd in Manchester. Sleuth as evidence would like to offer you this recent exchange with one of Manchester and Salford's two five-star hotels. There may well be more.

From: mark.jorgensen
To: resmanc@radisson.com
Subject: Booking request
Date: Sun, 18 Dec 2011 21:34:36 +0000

Dear Radisson Edwardian Manchester,

I wanted to make an enquiry about a room booking. 

I have a visitor coming to Manchester 27-29 January and after having an excellent stay at the Radisson before, you were the first hotel that came to mind. 

There is a slight addendum to my request though.

The visitor in question is a beautiful young lady I met recently at a concert and I am very eager to impress her. The problem is, when I first met her, a combination of alcohol, nerves, and my eagerness to impress resulted in me telling a couple of not entirely whole truths. Most notably that I was a member of the Danish Royal Family, which isn't strictly true, I just have a Danish name. 

Therefore, I wondered whether during my stay, you could fulfill a couple of requests or so. They are - 

- To ask all staff to refer to me as Your Royal Highness throughout my stay
- To insist, in front of my guest, all charges are being taken care of by the Danish embassy. I will settle all costs in private when necessary.
- Congratulate me for my recent philanthropic work in Eritrea. 
- To have various staff members sporadically reminisce with me about - or at least mention - the last time I was at the hotel with a number of Royal dignitaries including Prince Andrew. (You know, "Oh, Your Royal Highness, what a pleasure. I haven't seen you since you had dinner with Prince Andrew" that kind of thing.)
 - I would appreciate any other recommendations for pleasantries you would undertake for esteemed guests or foreign dissidents and alike. 

I understand that this is an unorthodox request and I acknowledge that embellishing  my importance is deceptive and completely reprehensible. I will come clean with her but I want to ease in the truth gently. 

I am more than happy to pay a deposit up front and if my requests are fulfilled then there will be a substantial tip for all concerned. 

I look forward to hearing from you. 

HRH Mark Jorgensen of Denmark (I'm trying to get into character) 

On 21 Dec 2011, at 08:49, "PECK, HAYLEY" wrote:

Good morning Mark 

Many thanks for your email. 

We can certainly check availability for you but I'm afraid we cannot ask our staff to fulfill your requests as per the below. 

Please advise if you would like us to check rates for you? 

Kind regards

Hayley Peck, Commercial Manager

From: Mark Jorgensen 

Sent: 21 December 2011 09:01
To: PECK, HAYLEY
Subject: Re: Booking request

Good morning Hayley,  

Thanks for the email. 

Yes if you could please advise about rates and availability.

Are ALL of the requests a no go? This is quite an important aspect of my stay. 

Perhaps just a small welcome party with banners and that sort of thing? I can provide some false photoshopped news clippings of myself on official business to use on banners. Or maybe I could 'open' a new wing of the hotel? It doesn't have to be new really, I can just bring some ribbon.   

Kind regards

Mark  

On 21 Dec 2011, at 09:24, "PECK, HAYLEY" wrote:

Hi Mark 

I'm afraid we cannot and would not ask our staff to fulfill these requests. 

If you would like a rate please advise.

Regards

Hayley Peck, Commercial Manager