Sleuth 18/11/2011

SleuthSleuth is a sideways glance at the city every week, it's the truth, but Sleuth's truth. We give £25 for every story/rumour and piece of absurdity you find for us to print. Sleuth sometimes even gets serious. We ask for the money back if any legal action follows. Follow Sleuth on twitter @Sleuth

No 1 for £1m

Jennie Platt In A FlatManchester City Letting’s, Jennie Platt, is cock-a-hoop, over-the-moon, happy as Larry and other clichés. She’s just completed the city’s first £1m sale since August 2009. The latter was in The Left Bank development in the city centre in Spinningfields, this present sale is of a penthouse apartment at Number 1 Deansgate. There’s not the sniff of a footballer involved either just a couple who want to occupy the high end of city living. 

Sleuth’s External Flatmates Of The Week

Apartment dwellers in Beetham Tower have to be careful in the way they dress. Aside from the bedrooms and bathrooms most of the flats don’t have any curtains or blinds. This means that should you decide to get up a little late and may not be quite as dressed as you intended, then you may have some unexpected guests joining you in the living room – just externally so. This picture was taken by a female reader on the fortieth floor of Beetham Tower. To be fair to the guests they were only hanging around doing their jobs. Sleuth's trying to work out which is George Formby. 

Sleuth Finds A New Square With No-Name

So Sleuth was out and about strolling the streets on Thursday when he found a new square. This is outside the recently opened Holiday Inn Express in the Northern Quarter off New George Street. It has no name this square, just as the one off Bridge Street has no name - click here. It also has no street furniture which is kind of nice too, perhap only two or three benches are needed so it remains uncluttered. There's something distinctly urban Dutch about the space. Sleuth wants to know who designed it and will make it his mission to find out.  

Sleuth’s Post-Riot Claims Part One

Sleuth has been following the discussion this week about compensation claims by traders following the August riots in London, Birmingham, Manchester and Liverpool. His favourite ill-advised quote comes from Nigel Godfrey, business manager at Birmingham City Council, regarding the apparently low uptake of one element of the help on offer. This is where firms can get their business rates waived for up to six months if their income has been affected by the riots. "We thought we would have hundreds of people queuing up and banging on the door to get this funding,” he said. ‘What and then maybe running in and stealing your shoes,’ thought Sleuth. 

Sleuth’s Post-Riot Story Part Two

Sleuth thought it was a bit hasty of Chief Constable Fahy to blame the Met Police over their tardy handling of the August riots, therefore encouraging loons up here to join in. Sleuth was on the Manchester streets on 9 August and an early show of force would easily have nipped in the bud any looting from empty-headed scummers. As Graham Stringer, MP, wrote on Confidential: 'When Labour councillors asked the police why they were standing by, they were informed that they had been given instruction to hold the line so they could create sterile zones. Manchester City Centre was vandalised from one end to the other. It was a victory for criminals. This must not happen again. There must be an open debate about the success and failures of the police’s tactics.'

Sleuth was told by a taxi driver

ITV caused a scene at Manchester Airport on Thursday when filming a scene with the Chesney Brown character from Corrie. They just turned up and parked on the taxi rank. Chaos. Taxi drivers shouting at the crew who were getting in the way of customers getting into cabs, bus drivers shouting at taxi drivers for clogging the road behind, the Airport telling off ITV for not getting permission to film. Apparently the ITV producer thought it'd be fine to bob along and start shooting. Poor idea. What with all the taxis interrupting the filming with blasts of expletives it took an age to complete the scene.

Dale Street Deli Re-Opens

The Outlet on Dale Street is about to re-open as the northern outpost of the North Star Deli in Chorlton. The confined, if good looking, site has been a troublesome one so let's hope a bit of North Star magic can rub off on it. Expect quality snacks and good drinks including a licence. Sleuth will see you down there.  

Sleuth’s Inarticulate Rant Of The Week

This rant, posted this Thursday, concerns our X-Factor review of a few weeks back by Simon Binns (click here). It reads: ‘this review is a complete load of ***; if you dont' liek ti, dont' watch it. Nobody's forcing you too, and I don't doubt that most of these people on this show are a hell of a lot more famous than you.’ Brilliant bit of invective that. Ticks all the right boxes for inarticulate rage.

Manchester Confidential Ukrainian XI Triumph

A Manchester Confidential XI took on CLB Coopers accountants at the Valley Road ground of Flixton FC on Wednesday evening. Confidential in their first ever game came out top winning 2-1. Chris Brown-Colbert and Garran St. Vall scored the Confidential goals. Confidential were wearing shirts of the Ukrainian national team  – yellow like the Confidential masthead above. “I was so proud to be representing the Ukraine team in Flixton,” said Sleuth, “And very happy to have won for the country. I hope the folks back home in Kiev are happy...er...has anyone told them yet?”

Scenes After The Victory In Flixton

Ecstatic Ukranian fans flood a Flixton precinct

The Consequences Of The National Victory

Smudge ‘I-hate-heading’ Jones caught the mood of the office the following day after the match. “I woke up this morning,” he said, “and I thought my legs had taken Viagra they were that stiff.” 

Sleuth’s Dictionary Of Modern English Phrases

The man who came up with the phrase ‘back of beyond’ had Valley Road, Flixton in mind. The place is so far away from anywhere.