Sleuth 16/01/2009

Mediawatch Evans says..“ Whether you should be so happy that a controversial article gave you such exposure is another thing of course. Still amongst the impressive list of media in which you were credited or in the case of TV shown there was one significant omission. The Manchester Evening News left out any mention of the site even though it was your story. How strange.”

James Danielson says..“ The Bury Times going to Bolton only has local significance to those who read. I'm from Bury but since I don't get the paper I don't care. The world's a bit more global now surely?”

Anonymous says..“ Graham Stringer's article shows such a lack of understanding it still shocks me, don't let him write another one please.”

leafy foes says..“ what an ignorant tosser,was that comment for real?”

Michael West says..“ Just amazing - Long live free speech. Thanks so much for this weeks rants Sleuth.”

Bill to pay says..“ I loved this post from some guy called Macca on the main Stringer article - or some woman - and since it fits in with your spoof suggested articles above, here it is. "Dyslexics Question The Existence of Graham Stringer Dyslexics today questioned the existence of Graham Stringer MP. The Manchester Blackley MP was labelled "a cruel fiction", who should be consigned to "the dustbin of history". Stringer insisted he was "very real" to the 6 million people in the UK affected by him. However, dyslexics said millions of pounds were being wasted on what they called a "false" MP. "The establishment, rather than admit that their eclectic and incomplete methods for instruction are at fault, have invented an MP called Graham Stringer," they said. "To label Graham Stringer an MP because he's confused by poor teaching methods is wicked. "If Graham Stringer really existed then countries as diverse as Nicaragua and South Korea would not have been able to achieve literacy rates of nearly 100%;;. There can be no rational reason why this 'brain disorder' is of epidemic proportions in Britain but Graham Stringer does not appear in South Korea or Nicaragua." They claim the "fictional malady" has also been wiped out in West Dunbartonshire, and research has conclusively proven that Graham Stringer MP does not exist in that particular area of Scotland. A spokesman for the Department for Children, Schools and Families said the government was supportive of Graham Stringer: "We understand the distress and frustration that the parents of Graham Stringer feel so keenly," he said. "Often they have endured years of struggle trying to get extra help to overcome their child's difficulties. That is why the government is working with a number of organisations to identify and promote best practice in identifying and supporting Graham Stringer." A spokesman for Mr Stringer said: "Once again Graham Stringer seems to be making the headlines for all the wrong reasons. "It is frustrating that the focus should be on whether Graham Stringer exists or not, when there is so much evidence to support that he does." "Many people assume that literacy will solve the issue of Graham Stringer MP, however although many Graham Stringers have acquired the skills of reading, there is no doubt that they still remain Graham Stringer," the spokesman said. "It is concerning that dyslexics do not recognise Graham Stringer, who affects 10%;; of his constituents, even though his government have taken steps to make sure Graham ” ”

Anna says..“ Id rather like to know how far the scrubber on the scooter got before getting caught?”

Aeron says..“ The srbucber on the soocter magnaed to get two-and-a-hlaf meils brefoe bineg spopted.”

Anonymous says..“ "Immanuel Kant was right, there is such a thing as the Categorical Imperative by Katie Price." possibly the funniest thing i have read!”

Maria says..“ Abortions not really a laughing matter is it! Obviously a man who thought to add that one, typically ignorant.”

Kevin Peel says..“ I saw a government study which said that Graham Stringer existed. However, we know what they're like with statistics...”

Beelzebub says..“ Maria, are you Santa Maria? I think the joke was in the absurdity of the Pope thinking abortion might be an option.”

The End is Nigh says..“ I'd like to see that article from Gordon Brown called Tony was right about everything.”

Sparky says..“ Yes Abortion is funny, and so is Adoption, The credit crunch, Religion, Politics, Cancer, The congestion charge and AIDS.......................FFS if we don't laugh, we cry!...................... I'm sick of hearing about Wars, people dying, the recession and Crash of the Global Markets and Big Bother! [sic] .................................................. PRAISE MANCHESTER CONFIDENTIAL FOR PROVIDING LIGHT HEARTED COMEDIC RELIEF AND FREEDOM OF SPEECH IN THESE DEPRESSING TIMES. Keep it up :)”

John de Baptiste says..“ Is Graham for hire to promote other websites with his amusingly misinformed rants about things people really care about? I'm sure he could earn a good living. More than £120,000 at least.”

esquilo says..“ Sparky on the ball there. All things can be funny. Hence "Black Humour". Well, apart from Dyslexia, obviously. Anyone who has the gall to laugh at that may as well sell their soul to Santa.”

Anonymous says..“ EDITORIAL DELETION - Dear Anon, that was personal, unfunny and pointless, please read the rules under the rant box. ”

Avo says..“ If I were you Sleuth, I'd go back to that curry cafe on Back Piccadilly and tell them about the good deed you did and how you saved their onions. Maybe they'll give you a plate of 3 curries and rice on the house!”

Anonymous says..“ Is Mr Stringer related to that man in South Africa who believes AIDS is not an infective and preventable disease?”

Sh*t Happens says..“ LOads of things are funny, i think. The worst things in life are actually the funniest. How many jokes are about death. illness, mishaps and horrible, life-changing stuff. Look back and the worst things now provoke a wry smile. I fully sympathise with those affected by strong stuff but i'd like to think that if i suddenly had to face up to a certain hardship i'd choose to laugh through it rather than wallow and disuade others from deriving lightheartedness from the situation. Experience makes us realise that whatever the situation ther's always the solace of laughter. Humour doesn't necassarily equate to cruelness. It just helps identify differences and also asssists understanding of certain problems in a rational and relateable form. Ignorance is usually associated with cruelness. My grandmother died. My friend called to say sorry. I said 'wasn't your fault'. He laughed and so did I. Would my grandmother disapprove? Is this disrespectful? I know my grandmother so know taht she woud prefer humour rather than morbidity. I have the same attitude with racism/disabled/women/welsh (the list goes on, bless us!) etc who imagine themselves as somehow lesser beings because they/we occasionally find them/ourselves the brunt of jokes (at their/our expense). Jokes identify differences in a lighthearted way and should be celebrated (as long as it's funny not just plain cruel/ignorant). Dyslexia is just another 'thing' that people either laugh about or get wound up about. And peopel with or without it are probably doing the same amount of defending or laughing. I'll leave out whether i'm dyslexic, of minority race or religion, privileged, terminally ill, disabled, was sexually abused, an amputee, overlooked at school, welsh or god forbid white... I'll let you decide. BUt either way I find my situation laughable.. rather than cryable. Laughing is for people who are done with crying and know that it's best just to get on..whether you can spell or not. Imagine you were blind AND dyslexic.. That braille would be fooked! ”

More headlines says..“ Dear Mancon, can we have the whole of the story tomorrow where Jonathan Ross writes on the use of good taste in the media.”

Michael West says..“ cool @ "more headlines" - This idea could be very productive.

Sir James Anderton - "Living with the nightmare of a gay child"

Sir Richard Leese - "Why the failures in the Baby P case could never happen in Manchester - Child Protection and 'Safer Sneezing'"

Sir Cyril Smith - "Conflict of Interest doesn't count in a global economy - How Jobs mean more than Health and Safety."

”

Anonymous says..“ Headline: Gordon Brown can't count up to ten properly and doesn't know what he's doing by Angela Merkel”