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CONFIDENTIAL can reveal a leading Premiership footballer has been caught sleeping with his WIFE.
The footballer - an international and household name - cannot be named because of a superinjunction that protects his identity.
But Confidential has discovered the shamed player has been having SEX with his wife for almost ten years; and has even fathered CHILDREN with her.
The player has recently been spotted enjoying romantic TRYSTS and a string of DATES with his wife as Twitter erupts with rumours over his identity, amid loads of tweets about the weather and stuff.
The player is also understood to enjoy DINNER PARTIES with mutual friends of the couple, even indulging in TRIPS TO THE PARK, YOU KNOW, THE ONE WITH THE FARM THAT HAS THE PIGS IN IT, with his kids.
Members of the player's family, his friends and teammates have been quick to condemn his behaviour.
"He's supposed to be a role model to young players," said one unnamed colleague. "How are you supposed to set an example by being part of a faithful, loving relationship?
"Young players need to know how to behave in nightclubs, bars and gentlemens' establishments, but (the player) seems more concerned with playing around ON the field and not spit-roasting."
"He's let his friends down, and he's let his family down" said his uncle, who asked to rename nameless, but insisted on wheeling out the gag about an inflatable boy. "But worse than that, he's let himself down."
The player has recently been spotted enjoying romantic TRYSTS and a string of DATES with his wife as Twitter erupts with rumours over his identity, amid loads of tweets about the weather and stuff.
Glamour girl Jo Jubblies, who has never met the player at the centre of the scandal, said she was 'shocked and devastated' at his behaviour. "We've literally never exchanged saucy texts and he never even promised to leave his wife for me," she said.
"He's obviously got some sort of problem."
The disgraced player has gone into hiding on a family holiday while the storm brews around him.
"He's got a lot of apologising to do," said his uncle. "A lot of young kids look up to footballers like him. What sort of message does this send out?"
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What's spit-roasting then? Is it what Tevez does in his famous barbecues?
I think it's the official term for when two footballers try and take a barbecue from both ends.
She was obviously asking for it. Serves her right.