Premiership Roundup 23/08/2010

That Paul Scholes’s 150th goal for Man U proved to be a 25 yard pile-driver from a corner routine was apt, given that the ginger munter has pretty much minted the box-edge corner blast over the course of his career. In this age of Opta stats and Proform printouts, lobbing a corner to a little fella half a furlong out for him to volley/ whack it at goal must be one of the few tricks in footie to upturn the percentage points. Yet Scholes’s rocket right boot has turned the trick time and time again across the seasons. Sunday’s Craven Cottage variation ditched the volley in favour of an exquisitely aimed low drive which crashed into David Stockdale’s net.

Having stepped up to the plate, Nani could not have gone more “missing” - as they say - if he’d been the Premiership shagger with the super injunction.

Why the dickens he didn’t take the penalty is anybody’s guess.

Yes, the over-vaunted ‘Fulham jinx’ came back to haunt United, as the Reds stumbled to a 2-2 draw against the London side, now managed by Mark Hughes. With six minutes remaining a Brede Hangeland own goal looked to have gifted United the points, after Simon Davies had equalised for the Cottagers following the interval.

Then there was a comical handball and before we knew it Nani had stepped up to take a penalty so telegraphed that the TV cameras appeared to lean invitingly in the direction of the upcoming shot and ball boys gathered behind the elected goalpost.

“Left!” said someone in the pub I was in, some two hundred and fifty miles away from the action. “Left,” said somebody else. And lo, there were murmurs of assent across the land. “Definitely left.” Nani was angling his run. “About mid height,” said someone.

Nani duly trotted up and kicked left with sufficient power to bring a decent-looking save from ‘keeper David Stockdale’s rightwards dive, and the jinx struck. Having stepped up to the plate, Nani could not have gone more “missing” - as they say - if he’d been the Premiership shagger with the super injunction.

Then again, if he’d been the Premshagger he might have been able to get the miss chalked off in the Monday papers.

After the game, Fergie still wasn’t talking to the BBC. This was despite much talk on the Beeb that he would in fact be talking to them again following a six year no talkie after they profiled his son, former football agent Jason, in unflattering terms. There’d been a round of ‘Oh, go on’s’ and ‘Let bygones be bygoneses’. David Gill had written an emollient letter to his manager. The League Managers Association got involved. Gary Lineker addressed the nation on the issue.

The reason was that the Premiership are finally getting uppity about Fergie sending Mike Phelan to front up on MOTD because he’s contractually obliged to trash the referees himself. A series of rising fines has been mooted to encourage him to see sense. As it was Ferguson walked straight past the Beeb’s cameras and the no talkie is still on for the time being.

“I thought Giggs should have taken the penalty,” he told Sky TV.

What with Blackpool suffering a 6-0 reverse at Arsenal, and Wigan losing by the same margin at Chelsea, the weekend fixture list saw the big London clubs issue a mission statement at the North West’s expense. Of the region’s teams only Bolton Wanderers came up smelling of roses thanks to a 3-1 victory at West Ham.

City got off to a winning start at home, beating a lacklustre Liverpool 3-0. It was all over after an hour when Carlos Tevez slotted in his second and City’s third from the penalty spot. Gareth Barry had side-footed an early opener and set the tone for a dominant display. Adam Johnson and James Milner – making his Blues debut – caused havoc down either flank while De Jong and Yaya Toure had too much power in midfield.

Torres made little impact for the Reds, Gerrard huffed and puffed but mostly fluffed his lines and Liverpool’s evening was adequately summed up when Jovanovic fell over the ball with nobody near him halfway thought the second period.

Craig Bellamy and Stevie Ireland left Eastlands last week but Mancini’s men didn’t seem to miss them and City’s passing and movement was a joy to watch at times.

As for Ireland his prediction that Milner might not find the ‘grass greener’ at Eastlands sounded hollow after his new team got slaughtered by Premiership new boys Newcastle.